A Rant about Whiny Ranters

Unknown to many of my friends, I am a regular visitor and also member of an Ragnarok Online forum. Hell, I've got 2 RO-based fan fictions and am close to having typed out a thousand posts (not counting all the spam in spam central or the deleted messages). Now what has all of that got to do with this post in my blog? Pretty much everything. On the said forum, there is a certain guy, let's call him V, whom I swear the Rants section is his home.


Honestly, I know that the rants section was created for the specific intent of getting users to release their frustrations but seriously, this guy complains whines about everything. Let's take a good look at a few of his rants (which by luck he made into a thread).


To date, he has ranted about:
1) The Common Cold - He said

I don't normally wish other people would get sick instead of me, but I'll make an exception in this case. I never see anyone else getting the cold, it's only me. Whenever people blow their noses, they do it in a soft tissue and throw it away, never to blow their nose for a few weeks at least. As for me, I keep wearing out hankerchiefs. Why is it always me? Why can't someone who deserves the cold get it instead of me for once?

My response? Good grief, hasn't it ever occured to you that if you whine about the common cold, that YOU DO DESERVE IT!!!??? My god, this guy is such an idiot, and he's in Melbourne mind you. He's studying in Melbourne and I'm supposed to be the stupid one and he's the one ranting about the common cold.


2) Shaving - He Says

I cut myself shaving this morning, and it didn't stop bleeding for... oh, let's say an hour. When little Billy trips over and grazes his knees into bloody stumps, it lasts around 10 minutes at most. When Suzie the housewife cuts her finger with a meat cleaver while chopping the vegetables for dinner (she's blonde), it doesn't last for more than a few minutes. But oddly enough, a littlenick from a shaving blade will leak blood constantly for god knows how long, even if you press a towel against it. Hell, by the time the cut's over, you'll have a nice rust-brown rag to hang up somewhere.

My Response? Dude, if you can't even use the frigging blade, USE A FREAKING ELECTRIC SHAVER!!!! I mean come on, I've been shaving for a good 5 years and I'm using a Gillete Mach3 razor, 3 blades means 3 times as likely to cut myself, and not ONCE, NOT ONCE have I ever cut myself. And I use freaking soap before i shave, none of those expensive shaving creams or moisturizers. I don't see the point of him ranting about his retarded shaving skills.


3)Ian Thorpe (some famous Australian swimmer or something) - He says

I've seen him on countless breakfast cereal commercials and the like, and he even has some kind of weird mineral water drink named after him. You'd think with all this advertising and hype he'd blow the competition right out of the water, right? Wrong. He loses to fellow sell-out Michael Phelps.

My Response? It is not when a swimmer loses that should worry him, it's the fact that he's watching men in tight suits swimming. It is times like this I wonder if he ever asks himself why he doesn't have a girlfriend yet cause then I'd just say, "Because You're not charming enough A FREAKING WHINY BITCH!!!! YOU'RE WHINIER THAN MOST GIRLS I KNOW!!!" Wonder if he really knows that athletics don't really pay much in terms of money, so they have to survive on sponsorship and this isn't a sell-out thing, MORON! Every top-class athlete does it!


4) School Bathrooms - He says

These are totally rancid. I hold two parties responsible for this - the school authorities and student terrorists. If you're going to absolutely desecrate the school toilets, the least you can do is FLUSH. I kid you not - the floors are wet with something besides water. Some people have such bad aim I'm certain it's deliberate. I'm absolutely sure some of the students have been eating undercooked Sukiyaki and spicy tacos to achieve this horrible effect. I only go in to get tissues (see Rantlet 1), and I'm so worried about my hygiene in that Temple of Filth I have to open and close the doors by kicking them.

My response? Good god, you kick the door down, good way to show those terrorists how NOT to take care of their toilets. Gee, you must be sooo smartare an IDIOT for someone who's studying in Melbourne! Now, I'm really just insulted with that offer I got to study with RMIT, seems they accept any idiot with money nowadays.


5)Vending Machines - He says

The school vending machines are temperamental little gits. Sometimes they don't give you enough change, and sometimes they eat your money and refuse to vend anything. There's one drinks machine that shoots out your change right into one of the cracks in the platform floor. After depositing money and getting my drink, my change went shooting out, and all three coins rolled straight into the crack, never to be seen by me again. I wouldn't be suprised if there's a little pan there collecting the change. In other times, pressing the button for cherry cola chucks a can of lemon water your way. And the school principal has the nerve to complain about people shaking the machines?

My Response? I don't know about you, but where I come from; when you put money in a vending machine, you get what you want from it unless the machine's run out of it. Geez, how much of an idiot are you if you can't even use a vending machine? And here's the best part, he's not alone. I mean seriously, I've never had a problem with vending machines at all, and I'm sure a majority of people here don't have problems as well. Maybe the problem does lie in the idiots who can't use a machine. And those machines are expensive to replace, so the principal has the right to complain MORON!


6)His pet cat (that's right, his pet cat) - He says

I got a pet cat for birthday. 9 months down the road, he's an utter pain. I let the little pest into the house because it was cold and rainy outside, and he proceeded to defecate behind a chair. It seemed he wasn't the only one eating undercooked Sukiyaki and spicy tacos. He's an aggressive little menace too, I really should have named him Hitler. As I'm writing this, he's trying to scratch me because I won't share my food with him. To top it all off, he keeps trying to follow me to school, only to hide when I try to catch him. Whenever I carry him back home, he trails me again. I have to get the neighbors to hold him down while I make my getaway, for christ's sake. I should have got a dog instead.

My response? I have a pet cat too, she scratches me all over. I have holes all over my hand because of her and also several scratches that litter my body like garbage in a city dump. But do you see me complain? That's because my cat loves me, she licks my nose every morning and also the wounds she inflicts on me, because she loves me. Now your cat, HATES you, for good reason too you whiny little bitch.


Now then, as you can see, he whines and whines and whines like no other. Moreover he whines about things he has no power to change, AT ALL! Seriously people, if you want to rant, rant about something significant, not something idiotic like a cat that you don't want to get rid of, or that swimmer dude you can't seem to take your eyes off of because he's wearing tights and you swing that way. Honestly, sometimes I wonder if him not getting a girlfriend is nature's way of killing his kind off.


Oh no, did I rant about something stupid (I.E. Him) GOOD GOD! I AM DOOOMMMEEEDDDDDD!!! Yeah right, he's had this coming for awhile!