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Tuesday, September 06, 2005

Noraini Bt. Osman

Noraini Bt. Osman, loving mother, doting grandmother and proud great grandmother. She died last night in a series of heart attack that first took away her capacity to breathe properly, and in the second attack, stopped her heart. She passed away at the Emergency Ward in KL Hospital.


At 10.30pm, my brother returns home, knocking on my door to tell me to pack up because we were headed to her house, "She just passed away" he told me. I don't react at first, I was in shock, as I got up to put on some clothes to go out and pack a few items to bring with me. In 5 minutes the gravity of the situation got to me, I weapt.


11.00pm, we left the house with our bags and walked to his car. If ever there was a time we dreaded going to her place, that night it was.


We arrived at her brother's home, where her body was on display for family members and friends to pay their last respect before it goes through the routines that come with a muslim funeral. The family owned a huge plot of land in Kampung Baru, she occupied a small corner house while the others in the family lived in slightly bigger lodgings in the same plot of land. We arrived there to a big crowd of people, some laughing, some crying while some stared into space. All of them were trying to cope with her sudden passing.


Me and my brother remained strong, being calm and cool as relatives and friends came, said a prayer and went, waiting for our parents to come down from Penang. They arrived only 1 and a half hours after we did. We waited patiently as more relatives arrived. We already had done our final prayers to her departed soul, a part of me wanted to cry out but another part told me to be strong, not just for myself, but for others as well.


My parents eventually arrived, my father looking the strongest of the three boys in the family. He walked into the room and sat next to her, praying silently followed by a kiss on both cheeks.


Noraini bt. Osman, was greatly missed as evident the next morning. Many came to pray for her passing soul, friends, family and all. After the final farewells, the van arrived, it was going to bring her to the mosque where she will be prepared for her burial.

A muslim funeral calls for the displaying of the body, the bathing and preparation of the lifeless vessel, a prayer and a reading from the Yasin for the departed soul, a burial and 3 days of mourning. All that was to be done or planned for immediately after death.


It was hard at the mosque. Earlier on, everyone was praying for her as they prepared the bath. After the bath, I was called in to assist in carrying her to the 'Coffin'. I placed '' in the word coffin because I don't know what else to call it. Muslims are, by tradition, not buried with the coffin but wrapped in white linen cloth and then placed in their prepared grave sites.


As I carried her, I got a close look at her face. She seemed peaceful, devoid of the smile I've known her to have. I'm gonna miss her voice, always reminding me to study hard and to make my parents proud. I'll also miss her cooking, she always knew what I loved and she'd make it especially for me when she knew I was coming over. There were cotton balls, stuffed in every orifice. Seeing them there gave me a chilling revelation; she really was gone. My grandmother was gone forever.


And to think I never visited her when I was interning in the office nearby her house. I never visited her during the weekends when I was so free and now it's too late. My grandmother's gone, gone forever.


After the cleaning of the body, she was once again put on display. A final farewell from all the relatives and friends. Every kissed her cheeks, except me, not because I wouldn't, because I couldn't; it would hurt me even more if I did. Then everyone prayed, except me. I couldn't because I didn't know how to. There have been so many deaths in the family, but none of them had struck me like this. I never cried from Day One with the others.


I cried as they buried her and I cried once more as I stopped by her grave, muttering "Nek boleh rehat sekarang" which means "Grandma, you can rest now" in english. I miss her so much. There are a lot of things I regret in my life, not spending much time with her is one of those things.


My grandmother's gone, may her soul rest in peace.