Sejarah Dalam Malaysia: Babi Langit

Don't get fooled by the Malay title; this blog is written entirely in english, save for a few Chinese words but it's mainly just Tian Zhu. So what is the title about? Well, on Wednesday my girlfriend flew down to KL for a shopping trip before the closing of the Malaysian Mega Sale Carnival (just another ploy to draw in tourists I say, but it brought her here, so who cares!?) and on her list of stuff to buy, which she handed to me to figure out where to buy them, was a Sky Pig. "So, what exactly is a sky pig?" I asked her. She said that it was actually Tian Zhu, a magical stone said to be able to bring luck to its owner.


So, after a few days of laughing and constant teasing, I now present to you, the history of the SKY PIG!


In an ancient land, a really really ancient land, lived the people of the Sky who were living on the ground, except that they glued cotton balls to the ground so that it'd look like sky. Outsiders found it weird, but they always thought, "Meh!"


Anyway, the people of the sky were weird, I mean really weird even by the standards of the ancient tribes such as the Mayans, Aztecs and the Egyptians. They always wore fake wings made of leaves and the bark of trees, tying them with vine (No strings baby!) and they walked as though they glided. Oddly enough that was a common trait among the Sky People; they had mastered the ability to walk without moving their knees much. As impressive as that was, they'd still get beaten up like little girls in a fist fight with the other tribes.


So one day, one of the Sky people were up in the trees, gathering 'magical fruits' from what is actually a coconut tree. They were weird, didn't I tell you? The poor man suddenly had a heart attack and fell from the tree and with a loud bang, fell on a pig!


The pig of course lost conciousness, as most pigs would when hit in the head by a old man who wore fake wings made of leaves and bark. The old man had lost his wings when he fell and it landed on the pig, miraculously securing itself around the poor porker while it was unconscious. Upon waking up, the pig found himself on a makeshift stretcher, being carried by more men, much like the Sky person that dropped on the poor porker. He panicked, "Oh my god! Don't kill me, I didn't kill that man. I swear! I sweeaarrrrrr!!!" but all the villagers heard were "Oink! Oink! Sqqquuueeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!!" and laughed.


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Who the hell wrote this script.. bah nevermind.


When they reached the village, the pig said to himself, "Okay, that's it, I've got to get out of here!" And he jumped off the stretcher, with a big grunt, and landed on the cotton ball laden ground. Now, being a pig, you can imagine how disorientated he is, so he was all, "Oh my god! I can fly!!!!" and he ran and ran and ran. Unfortunately for him, the village was built close to a cliffside. With a big "Squuuuuuuuueeeeeeeeeee!" he leapt in the air, thinking it was safe, only to find out that there was no more ground.


The sky people, thinking he was about to fly, cheered and looked on gleefully as it glided in the air for a few feet. The wings were doing their job but being made of barks and leaves.. Well, you get the idea. The wings broke apart and soon the pig squeeaaaaalll all the way to the bottom of the cliff.


The people, amazed at this act of bravery, decided to name the pig, "The Sky Pig" and their village, "Sky Kingdom". Now, because the sky people don't normally write down their history, instead of "Sky Pig", their scrolls said "Sky Teapot" instead. And thus was the beginning of the Sky Kingdom and the Giant Sky Teapot.


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She is so gonna kill me...